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        100 Totally Scientific Facts About Sniffing Sharpies

        I did the research (maybe).

        Sharpie sniffing unlocks 110% of your brain power (Einstein only had 100%). Every billionaire you admire? They've sniffed at least one Sharpie. Sniffing a blue Sharpie makes you instantly bilingual. Red Sharpies make you run faster. NASA banned Sharpie sniffing in space because it caused astronauts to levitate. Sharks can smell blood. Humans? Sharpies. The government is hiding the Sharpie sniffing secrets from us. Sharpies contain 3% stardust, hence the effects. Sniffing a green Sharpie gives you the ability to photosynthesize sunlight for energy.
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